How to Break a Bad Habit so You Can Achieve Your Goals

It’s that time of year again. We’ve made our New Year’s resolution(s) and now we need to set about trying to achieve them. Maybe you chose to be healthier, financially independent, or more adventurous. How do we achieve large goals like these?

Obviously, you don’t want to overwhelm yourself with trying to change everything about yourself all at once. You also have to accept that this goal you are working on will take patience and dedication because your endpoint is about a year out from now (not that you want to end your resolution; this is the point where hopefully you’ve successfully incorporated it into your life).

In a work setting, the best way to achieve a big, far-out goal is to break it down into mini-steps where you can check-in and reflect or adjust on your progress. With life goals, you should also have these mini-steps but you will need to add one more layer – habits. I focus on reaching my bigger, life-related goals, especially ones that are long-term, by looking at the habits tied to the success of the goal.

Originally, I had intended to just have one post about how to get rid of bad habits and form new, better habits, but after doing some research, I’m splitting them into two separate posts. First, I’ll start with how to break the bad habits that are holding you back from reaching your goal.

We are what our habits are

At the basis of what we do in our daily routines is a bunch of habits. You may not even realize what habits you have until you consciously take a closer look or someone points one out to you. This is because we are basically on autopilot when performing our habits.

Not all habits are bad but in order to change something in our life, we will have to become aware of them to figure out which ones are helping us and which are hurting us.

I may be able to identify a couple of habits I’m already doing that will help me work toward my goal. Good habits can overlap to help multiple goals just as bad habits can overlap to inhibit you in many areas of your life.

For example, one of my habits is to get a good 8.5 hours of sleep every night. I know that seems like a lot but after years of testing, I’ve come to the conclusion I naturally need more sleep. 

My sleep habit, which I consider a good habit, helps me in multiple areas of my life. It helps me achieve success in my goal to obtain good grades in my classes as well as in my goal to be good-humored and patient with others (being well-rested puts me in a good mood).

On the other hand, you may also have bad habits that are preventing you from achieving your goal. Those will have to change if you want to be successful.

If your goal for this year, for example, is to lose X amount of pounds, then you may identify that a bad habit you have is snacking on processed foods.

This bad habit may be hurting more than one area of your life. It not only damages your health, but also your productivity because your weight and bad nutrition make you feel sluggish all the time, and perhaps it also takes a toll on your confidence which stops you from forming close social relationships and networking to get your promotions at work.

Changing this habit is one way in which you will get closer to achieving your goal or goals. Think of breaking a habit as a key that will unlock change in one or more areas of your life.

Repetition forms a habit

It’s difficult to break a habit. Why? Because habits have become automatic to our usual routine¹ so we are not consciously aware of them.

During our usual routine, cues trigger our habitual actions. Imagine, you get up early in the morning on weekdays for work and because you feel groggy and want to be alert by the time you start working, you automatically start your coffee maker.

You become so used to having a cup of coffee first thing in the morning that even on weekends you have a cup even though you got plenty of rest and were able to sleep in.

When you want to make a change in your life, breaking an old habit that is holding you back will be hard.

Neurologically, our habits and our intentions (or decisions to achieve a particular goal) are separate systems¹. So, your intentions will not be acted on if you have bad habits standing in the way².

The brain forms habits from repetitive behavior (making a cup of coffee in the morning) due to repeated stimuli (early work morning and feeling groggy). This helps increase our mental efficiency so routine activities don’t take as much mental strain².

It’s going to take extra effort

Old habits whether they are good or bad become almost automatic. Since you don’t have to put what you’re doing or saying in the forefront of your mind, it doesn’t take as much exertion as doing something new would.

Therefore, breaking a habit is going to take some serious mental effort.

Trying to change something we are already accustomed to can feel uncomfortable and it will require conscious effort which will be tiring…at first. But just like with everything that is difficult at first, it becomes easier the more often you practice it.

Think about when you started a new job. When you began your job, you had a lot to learn. This can make the job exciting for its novelty but it is almost mentally demanding. You aren’t familiar with the methods, techniques, or background knowledge so you have to exert yourself to catch up with the other workers. Eventually, as you keep doing your job, it becomes second nature.

So, don’t be hard on yourself but keep at it. It’s okay if you fail or forget often but with your check-ins, you should be able to correct yourself and get back on track.

Find out why you have this habit in the first place

A bad habit that you have could be in response to a trigger. For example, perhaps you come home after a workday feeling stressed so you reach for a drink.

If your resolution is to be healthier or lose weight, having a drink or two consistently may be a bad habit you would want to break.

So, you’ll need to focus on recognizing your trigger. Then, you need to decide whether you can remove the habit or replace the habit with a better one.

Back to the example of having a drink or two during the weeknights, you can try to remove the habit by drinking water or other nonalcoholic drinks. Or you could try to replace this habit by decreasing your stress and improving your mood by exercising after work.

Reminder, Routine, Reward

According to Healthline, there are three aspects to making a habit: reminder (or trigger), routine, and reward³. To fit this into the previous example, your reminder or trigger is the stress you feel after a day of work, your routine of having work on the weekdays, and the reward, which is a good feeling or buzz after you have a drink.

It’s easy to see now how this habit has formed. If you’re going to be successful at breaking this habit, something needs to change.

Start by making a change in how you address your trigger. As I mentioned above, replacing or removing your response to the reminder will help.

It will be hard to change your routine when it relates to your job but if your resolution had to do with saving money, you could change your schedule to wake up earlier to make yourself a cup of coffee and have breakfast at home rather than spending money buying out.

This would be an example of how changing your routine could break your habit.

Dopamine and addiction

Finally, addressing reward will be the most difficult part. Reward is the feel-good sensation you get after doing something. Bad habits have a feel-good reward even though it may not be good for you to have this bad habit in your life.

If you have associated binge-watching with a good feeling when you are avoiding the stress of studying, then when you sit down to study, you will be drawn to watch something instead because it feels better.

The feel-good part of watching a show is your reward and so even though you know studying is important to do well in your classes, you will have to fight the instant gratification in order to get the distant reward of good grades.

Bringing some neuroscience back into this, reward is often tied to dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter in the brain that can give you a pleasurable release³. Dopamine is also tied to some of the most addictive drugs like cocaine⁴.

Stopping this process will be difficult because it will feel bad. If you have a habit that is making you feel good even though you know it’s damaging and inhibiting your life, you’re going to struggle to change it. You may consciously know you shouldn’t but you’ll find yourself drawn to do it anyway.

Try to distract yourself or fill your time with something else that is pleasurable but helpful or non-damaging to your life. If it has to do with watching a Netflix series instead of studying, try to set a timer for both studying and streaming. Say if you study for two hours, then you’ll get to watch an hour of something.

This way you still have your reward but you’ll get something beneficial and productive done as well. You may have to fight through the nagging urge to want to stop studying and watch something but the plain and simple timed goals will make disciplining yourself easier.

Initially, you will have to fight through “withdrawal” from your bad habit that made you feel good. But eventually, you’ll breakthrough if you keep to it. Be brave. You can do it!

Be patient and be kind to yourself

It took time to form the habit although you might not be able to recall the genesis of it. So, it’s going to take time to break the bad habit, too.

You’re going to mess up because no one is perfect and this is about progress, not perfection. Therefore, it is important to forgive yourself and try again.

Don’t get into the dangerous mindset that you either have done it all days or not at all. Just because you eat poorly one day after eating healthy for four days previously does not mean that you lose all credit and progress.

Be forgiving of yourself. If changing yourself to achieve your goals were easy, you would see a lot of people achieving goals left and right but you don’t. Change is difficult for many reasons and breaking a bad habit that is standing in your way is just as hard.

If you are too cruel to yourself, you won’t keep going. Habits take time to break. Having patience while you go through ups and downs will be key to being successful.

Remind yourself what you are trying to achieve and how your life will be better once you break this habit. Hold onto that image or thought in your mind to keep yourself motivated and on track. Don’t give up. The rewards can be great.

Get support from others

Ask for support from family and friends. If you’re doing a resolution with someone else, you may already have that support but someone who is not participating in your goal can give you encouragement, which can motivate you through the most difficult parts.

Your life will continue while you are trying to break your bad habit and it’s important to still engage in all other areas of your life. Focusing too hard on breaking your habit will not get you any further, any faster.

People in your life can help add to your life in positive ways so your bad habit doesn’t have to be your sole focus.

Now, if a person is contributing to your bad habit then they are a bad influence that you’ll have to deal with. Perhaps, you’ll need to distance yourself from them until you get a handle on your bad habit associated with them to or you’ll need to let them know what you’re struggling with and how they can support you.

For example, if you are trying to eat healthier, including your family in your goal could help you stay on track. Meals could include healthier options, bad snacks won’t be bought, and helpful reminders could be said.

Conclusion

The most important factor in breaking a bad habit is to believe you can⁵. This will start your journey, keep you motivated throughout, and ultimately, help you reach success by breaking your bad habit.

Your willpower to break your habit over the course of this year will ebb and flow and that’s natural. Give yourself breaks. Allow yourself to slip up here and there. The goal is the overall progress toward eliminating your bad habit.

As long as you are heading in that direction, you are succeeding.

Breaking your bad habit is going to allow you to make room for a better habit that will help you toward living your better and happier life.

In the next post, I’ll write about how to form better habits so you can work toward your New Year’s resolutions. I’ll give you tips on how to best track your habits and progress through a variety of methods.

Let me know what you think about this post or what techniques you’ve successfully used to break your bad habit.

Live happier,

Nicole

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References

1. Witt, Melissa Guerrero, Wood, Wendy, and Tam, Leona. Changing Circumstances, Disrupting Habits. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2005, Vol. 88, No.6, 918-933. DOI: 10.1037/0022-3514.88.6.918.
2. Jager, W. (2003) Breaking ’bad habits’: a dynamical perspective on habit formation and change. in: L. Hendrickx, W. Jager, L. Steg, (Eds.) Human Decision Making and Environmental Perception. Understanding and Assisting Human Decision Making in Real-life Settings. Liber Amicorum for Charles Vlek. Groningen: University of Groningen.
3. Raypolee, Crystal. How to Break a Habit (and Make It Stick). Healthline. 2019 Oct 29. https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-break-a-habit#know-your-triggers.
4. Wise RA, Robble MA. Dopamine and Addiction. Annu Rev Psychol. 2020 Jan 4;71:79-106. DOI: 10.1146/annurev-psych-010418-103337. PMID: 31905114.
5. Duhigg, Charles. Summary of the Power of Habit. Instead. 2017.