Deal With Stress Better

Stress. Perhaps my least favorite word and concept. At one point in my life, just hearing the word was enough to make me tense up. I didn’t know how to deal with stress and felt like it might just become a constant part of my life.

I was, after all, a busy person and aren’t busy people normally stressed? But even though they were stressed, they were productive and getting things done. So, I figured I just needed to accept that stress was going to be 90% of my mood.

However, as friends and family kept pointing out my stressed out nature and expressed concern, I decided I should look into stress more. I found out that stress is just as bad as smoking, and I realized that stress could also shorten my life.

Chronic stress equals smoking five cigarettes a day: study

NY Daily News

Besides potentially shortening my life, the stress I experienced was also impeding on my ability to be happy. I was anxious, irritable, and my stomach often hurt. My research into stress helped me understand better what was happening to me and how to deal with stress better. I hope to share this with you now.

So, how do we better deal with stress? And is there such a thing as good stress?

Short-term stress vs. long-term stress

Imagine, you’re sitting in your car in traffic. You’re on your way to work but now you’re not sure you’re going to be on time. You mentally scold yourself for not starting out a little earlier and a knot forms in your lower belly.

This is stress. But it’s short-term stress. As soon as you arrive at work, you may be able to slip in or you may have to apologize to your waiting coworkers, but then you can move on.

There are many other triggers that can cause short-term stress. They can be as simple as everyday responsibilities to serious life events like a family death.

In the case of short-term stress, it’s a natural response to our situations. It signals to us that we need to respond to something that’s going on in our life. Therefore, short-term stress may cause unhappiness in your life, but it will be temporary.

Short-term stresses  are normal. It’s not going to cause damage to our bodies or lasting mental effects. It’s when the body is under chronic stress – stress for a long time – that it starts to harm your body.

The damage of long-term stress

Short-term stress can turn into long-term if the problem that caused it doesn’t clear up. Other reasons are you are in a lot of stressful situations or you find your stress response doesn’t go away. When you don’t deal with the short-term stresses or let go of the problem, it can become damaging stress.

And what does long-term stress do to our body? You may experience headaches, depression, insomnia, weakened immune system, high blood pressure, fertility problems, and risk of heart attack. These are just a few of the potential problems you’ll run into with long-term, chronic stress!

Some symptoms of chronic stress are:

• upset stomach
• lack of energy or focus
• forgetfulness
• headaches
• trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

You may be experiencing these symptoms during this time due to the ongoing pandemic. Some have termed this “brain fog” and although brain fog refers more to lack of focus and forgetfulness.

Eventually, chronic stress can cause behavioral changes like over- or under-eating, alcohol or drug abuse, and social withdrawal. These are behaviors we don’t want in our lives and will potentially hurt how happy we feel on a regular basis.

Is there good stress?

First of all, is there such a thing as good stress? I was raised to think all stress was bad and that’s probably why I freaked out whenever I even heard the word “stress”.

However, it turns out stress can be beneficial in some ways. Stress can improve cognitive function. With a certain amount of stress, we have better brain performance. We are sharper, work faster, and have better focus.

Although long-term stress can weaken your immune system making you vulnerable to viruses and infections, some short-term stress can help protect you from illnesses. This stress you experience can stimulate the production of interleukins inside your body which gives you a boost against illnesses. Again, this is not the same as what happens during chronic stress.

Your experiences make you who you are. Stress in the face of difficult situations is natural and, as you work through these challenges, it can make you more resilient. You are able to see that you can count on yourself to be resourceful, strong, and brave. Most likely, if you were faced with the same situation again, you would be better able to respond to it having learned from your previous experience.

Manage your stress better

It’s time to manage your stress better. Of course, we’ll need to accept that stress will be part of our lives sometimes, and that’s okay. But it’s when stress takes over our life and makes us unhappy for a long period of time that we need to become concerned.

Here are some great ways to deal with stress better:

Exercise daily

One way I like to deal with stress is through exercise. Whether it’s doing a bit of cardio on a stationary bike or getting out for a short walk, the boost I get from it is very beneficial. I also find I can sleep better at night on days I exercise, something that stress tends to spoil.

(Related post: How Can Nature Help Us Be Happier and Less Stressed)

Evening wind-down

Sometimes, before bed or as I’m falling asleep, I am hit with a sudden wave of “freak out”. I think about all of the things I wanted to do but didn’t get to accomplish that day and even things I didn’t do right during the day,. This makes me feel anxious about my life and my future.

However, one way to manage this kind of stress better is to focus on what you’ve accomplished during the day instead. Take a moment to wind down at the end of each day patting yourself on the back for what you did right however small. You can even journal about what got done. The key is to focus on the positives here.

Give yourself some control

Set goals. This will help you organize and prioritize what you need to get done so you feel more in control of what’s going on. I like to start off by looking at my upcoming week and planning out some general goals. You could just start out with one simple goal and build up as you gain confidence.

If you’re interested in learning more about how to set goals and organize your time, check out my other posts about this.

(Related: Start a New, Better Habit to Improve Your Life)

Talk to someone

Talking to someone like a therapist, member of the clergy, or an understanding family member/friend about what’s going on can be very helpful. Sometimes, you just need to talk it out and hear yourself saying what’s been bothering you to gain a better understanding.

When you have to explain what’s been stressing you out to someone else, sometimes it can give you a new perspective on the problem. You may even realize that you’ve blown the problem out of proportion.

And while that may be initially embarrassing to tell someone, talking will help you move on to see that things aren’t quite as bad as they seem and you will be able to live happier again.

In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.

Fred Rogers

To wrap up

Dealing with stress is not impossible nor complicated. It does take work though. Constant monitoring of how you’re feeling like whether or not you’re having difficulty sleeping, being easily angered, or feeling depressed is important. Being in touch with changes to your body is going to help you recognize when you’re stressed.

Being good about getting regular exercise and finding relaxing activities are another way to help you deal with stress. This is going to be different for everyone so find the level you would like to exercise at and what activities relax you. For some this could be a simple walk around the neighborhood and enjoying the plants and trees around you.

Keep setting goals. This gives you a look at what you have going on. It gives you the power to organize your life how you want to. When you see what commitments you already have, you can decide to say “no” to others. This way you won’t get overwhelmed.

Don’t allow stress to get the better of you

Finally, stay connected with others. I know I tend to keep my stress to myself. I feel like I can deal with it on my own and don’t want to be a complainer. When it becomes too much, I don’t get anything done. I am even irritable enough to snap at my close relationships. Talking to someone is difficult but opening up is helpful to deal with stress better.

If you can do these things and not allow stress to get the better of you, you can live a calmer, happier life. It’s your decision and it takes consistent work. Stress is like a creeper that sneaks in and sometimes you don’t even realize it’s there but it’s affecting you. Being aware of it is the first step.

Let me know what you think in the comments below!

Live happier,

Nicole Andrews

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Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Anyone can become overwhelmed. If you or a loved one is having thoughts of suicide, call the confidential toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). It’s available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.