Set the Tone for 2021 with Your New Year’s Resolutions

Another year for the books! What a year this has been. I don’t think a more interesting and devastating year has happened in our lifetimes. It certainly doesn’t feel like the usual year.

2020 has collectively felt longer and more stressful than the usual year, and I think we’re all eager to put it behind us. But just because a calendar year ends, it doesn’t mean all our problems go away.

Even though everything has been so different lately, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t set some 2021 resolution goals for ourselves.

Setting goals for what we want will help set the tone for the next year. Although it can seem like outside events will sabotage your goals, setting expectations for yourself and your life is never meaningless.

Resolutions are a way to exert some control in your life, especially in an unpredictable and chaotic world.

What would you like to change or achieve in this next year?

What would you like to achieve in the next year? It can be mental improvement, physical change, better or new relationships, financial freedom/stability…really anything you want!

Before we overload ourselves with all these goals, we should identify a few things first.

Is there something that’s been holding you back from the life you aspire to live? It could be lack of confidence, instability, fear, etc.

Once you have identified one or two things that are holding you back, figure out for each one, how are you going to get around this?

Also, what do you hope to gain from the change? Will you have more confidence if you improve your health and body? Will you feel more stable if you have better finances?

Just pick one or two changes to make into resolutions for the new year. This may seem too little but a year is not that long and there are many events that will happen to fill the time.

Having only one main resolution to focus one will allow you to put more energy into achieving it. Having a small, secondary resolution is okay, but be careful it doesn’t take away from your primary resolution.

I’m the type to make lists and try to schedule in more tasks than I have time for, but it sets me up for disappointment every time I do it that way.

I’ve learned just to have one resolution. One change. Trust me, resolutions are not simple changes and even if you achieve it within the first couple of months, can you be consistent and keep it up for the whole year?

Some examples of resolutions:

To tell or not to tell

Studies show that not saying your resolutions out loud will help you to keep them¹.

This may seem counterintuitive because it would seem that without telling someone, no one will hold you to your resolution and you could just get away with not doing it.

However, it has been shown that people who tell their resolutions and goals to others are less likely to complete them because they feel that when they tell others, it can feel as if they have already accomplished their goal.

Imagine that! Our brains believe that when we tell others about how we’re going to lose weight and eat better, we trick ourselves into feeling satisfied that we are doing so without doing any of the work. So, in the end, nothing gets accomplished.

If you are worried that you won’t hold yourself to your resolutions, then write your resolutions down on a piece of paper and fold the paper up so no one can read it except yourself.

Invite your family members to do this as well. They can also write their resolutions down on a separate piece of paper. No one has to show anyone at this point. Write your names on the outside or put a symbol on the outside that you’ll each recognize as your own.

Store the folded paper(s) in a box or tin and then put it away in a closet.

Next year, before New Year’s, pull out that box and then have a little reveal party where everyone who contributed their resolutions, or even if they didn’t, get to see what you’ve been working on for the past year.

Resolutions are not easy – set yourself up for success

There’s no shame in not accomplishing your previous resolutions. If you didn’t accomplish it, take a moment to reflect on why you didn’t.

Did you get discouraged and give up part way through the year? Did you not take your resolution seriously enough from the start?

There are a couple of ways to set yourself up to be successful in achieving your resolutions this coming year.

Work toward a goal with someone else

One way is to work on a resolution with someone else. This is not the same as telling someone else your resolution.

Including another person in your resolution is a great motivator because you can hold each other to your resolution. Many studies have shown that, for example, people who lose weight with a partner are much more likely to reach their goal than those who do it alone².

You may also feel more fulfillment in working toward a common goal with someone else who is close in your life. It doesn’t just have to be weight loss. There are many goals you can work on with a partner.

Sometimes, our goals are just too individual to do with another person and that doesn’t mean we will fail to accomplish our resolution. Everyone has their own timeline and maybe their goals just don’t align with your goals.

If you have a resolution you are working on by yourself, be supportive to your loved one’s goals and hopefully they will be respectful and encouraging to yours as well.

Create check-ins

Another way to set yourself up for success is to create a timeline of mini goals throughout the year to reach your main goal. This will not only remind you of your resolution but it will also break up a big goal into steps that will make your goal more achievable.

You can set up monthly check ins, for example. If you plan to save ‘X’ amount of money each month into a savings account, then log that in your monthly check in and see if you are reaching the goal you set. 

You don’t need to create a super fancy Excel spreadsheet or set things up like a project manager unless you’re into that kind of stuff. A simple sheet that you could write down on a piece of paper is enough.

Here’s a goal sheet I created when I was trying to get in shape and lose some weight last year. This one is more detailed and has weekly check-ins as well as monthly check-ins, but it’s just a template if you want an idea:

Just a note, I put in ‘X’s in some places just for privacy reasons. The actual sheet we used we filled everything out with real numbers. I also didn’t include all of the weeks in the month for brevity but you get the idea.

Also, my partner as you can see is struggling a bit. There was a lot of positive reinforcement and encouragement between us not recorded on this chart. It’s difficult to change yourself and sometimes it’s slow to get started, but don’t give up!

She eventually did meet her goal with a lot of effort and you can too!

Be the change you want to see in the world

Change starts with the individual. The only person you truly have power over is yourself. So, if you want a difference, start with yourself.

No resolution is too small or too simple.

It’s important to acknowledge that you may run out of steam and motivation part way through the year. A year is a long time to keep doing something consistently.

Especially when you are trying to do something that won’t come natural at first, you will have to put in more work. You will be fighting against your normal because you are essentially changing what you’ve been doing.

On the other hand, a year is not that long of a time to choose a hefty goal or a lot of goals. Be wise with what you choose and don’t overestimate how much work and energy is involved in accomplishing a seemingly straightforward resolution.

Most importantly, stay positive. If it helps you, join a community that is also working toward a similar goal, find a partner to complete your goal with, or have family members or friends encourage and support you.

You don’t have to tell people your resolution in order for them to be supportive. The same goes for you supporting the people in your life. Maybe you can be one of the reasons they accomplish their resolution.

Good luck!

Happy New Year and best wishes for your happier life,

Nicole

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References:

1. Gollwitzer, P. M., Sheeran, P., Michalski, V., & Seifert, A. E. (2009). When intentions go public: Does social reality widen the intention-behavior gap? Psychological Science, 20, 612-618.
2. Coleman, Jackie, and Coleman John (2015). Increase the Odds of Achieving Your Goals by Setting Them with Your Spouse. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2015/02/increase-the-odds-of-achieving-your-goals-by-setting-them-with-your-spouse.